Freddy Got Fingered

by Frenchie.

Ahh you Americans are so funny to me. You say "But Frenchie! You cannot be so stereotypical. Surely just as all Frenchman are not better lovers and more interesting than anyone else, all Americans are not stupid!" You say this to me then make a movie such as this. Once again, you prove me right!

Although I will admit that he is funny on TV, this Tom Green does not have his irate coiffeurs or innocent old ladies to pick on in his big-budget Hollywood debut. Instead he must rely on fake props and incidental violence to make us laugh, which it does not.

Next you say "But Frenchie! You love Jerry Lewis! Is this not the modern-day version?" to which I say: "Get the dead alligators out of your eyes because your head is in the sewer!" The reason why such a genius as Lewis gains my love while Green's efforts I flush to join you is that Msr Lewis had comedy in him, not around him. Jerry didn't need unknowing victims for his humour, just intelligence enough to recognize it! Tom Green does not have humour in him, and if he does he has not displayed it with this thing I hate to refer to as a movie.

Oh! Yes! Let us have a scene where I call my new wife fat! Yes let me have my girlfriend like very much oral sex! Let me be able to say Proud over and over again. This is comedy! Merde!!!!!

Whether you like his TV program or not, Tom Green's movie is not funny, and therefore despicable. He must either find a way to construct his story better like those Farrelly brothers (who's last film was shit and previous few have only been saved by genius performers) or shoot his movie live, to make me laugh as I did during Time Code!!!

Of course I only saw this... "thing" because I'm visiting a friend in England, for France would never run such a thing for fear of civil war. To show such a thing on the Champs Elysées would cause mass suicide and end any culture we would have here in what is the Best Place in the World. America I pity you.

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