So I was walking down the street the other day and I saw a blue flame that changed my life. The flame gave off no light because it didn’t need to. It simply said that it had the secret to me as I stopped beside it and a car honked at me. Right after it told me the secret it told me not to tell anyone else so I’m afraid you’re out of luck, but just because you don’t have the secret to happiness like I do doesn’t mean you can’t hear my story.

So it began with a Tuesday because Tuesdays are the days when new CDs come out and this particular Tuesday a new CD I really wanted came out. I didn’t have enough money to buy this CD that I really wanted, but you know that kids my age don’t understand the concept of waiting so I absolutely had to have this CD on that particular Tuesday because it was the day that it came out and I didn’t understand the concept of waiting.

So I mowed lawns for money by dragging my push-mower down the block and asking my neighbors if they needed their lawn to be mowed. I also did the same thing in the winter with my snow shovel but it was summer then as its summer now so I obviously couldn’t carry around my snow shovel asking neighbors if they needed their driveways shoveled because they didn’t. but they did need their lawns mowed and I mowed five lawns and each neighbor gave me money for mowing their lawns and before too long I had enough money to buy the CD that I really wanted to. I set out to the CD store to buy the CD as soon as I could because I couldn’t wait not even an hour to get a shower and have a peanut butter sandwich so I had to go right then but I stopped off at my yard to leave the push mower there first.

So I was walking down the street and I saw this blue flame on the sidewalk. It didn’t give off any light but it didn’t really need to because it was really bright out because of the sun so I didn’t really need any more light just then. The blue flame saw me coming and asked me if I wanted to know a secret when I walked up to it. At first I thought that most blue flames don’t talk but then again how many blue flames do you see on sidewalks at all so I said Sure and it told me the secret to the universe.

So anyway, knowing the secret to the universe it pretty cool. Of course it’s even cooler to know the secret to the universe while listening to a CD on the same day that it comes out in stores. The only bad thing about knowing the secret to the universe is that you can’t tell anyone what it is because the blue flame said that if I did your head would blow up and I believe it. It did change my life though. The secret to the universe is also the secret to happiness because happiness is in the universe. Of course it’s also the secret to sadness and being bored and tired but those things aren’t nearly as cool as happiness. Man now I really want to tell you but I can’t because you seem nice and I don’t want your head to blow up.

So… that CD’s good but not as good as I hoped it would be. There’s really only three good songs on it and the rest are kind of boring. It’s funny how the blue flame told me the secret to the universe and all the things that are in the universe like turtles and taxes and tectonic plates but it didn’t tell me that the CD I was on my way to buy only had three good songs on it.

Why do you keep bugging me about what the blue flame said? Do you really want to know? Even if your head blows up like the blue flame said? Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.






©2002 Brian Miller