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I didn't go to work today. I called in sick, and while my nose was sort of stuffy this morning, I can't say that I've been bed-ridden and calling out for a merciful death. In reality I think it may be that I've had yet another bad night of sleep and just don't feel like seeing those faces and talking that talk and acting that way today. I feel like if I went into work I'd yell at someone or punch something or take out all of my aggressions on some poor intern who's even more helpless than I am. So I stayed home, going out only to buy a couple sandwiches and rent a few movies.

Ahh... is this called restless? Is it confusion? Floundering? Aimlessness? Whatever it is, this feeling is creeping up on me and kind of darkening things all around me. I guess I don't like it, but I really don't have a clue at to how to get out from under its cloud. Should I start paying attention at work? This clearly pointless track that seems to be designed to suck time out of me and keep me in stasis until I'm 50? Or maybe I should quit and go broke and end up in a position where I have to look for another job exactly like I have now just to pay bills and buy food and survive. I suppose I could always move back home. No, that's not really an option.


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